The Barter System Companion: Volume One by McClendon Shayne

Author:McClendon, Shayne [McClendon, Shayne]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: Always the Good Girl LLC
Published: 2017-01-11T16:00:00+00:00

Being First

Prologue

March 2012

A lot of bullshit brought Sean Denning to the current moment in his life. To a point where his mouse hovered over the submit button on an unorthodox project he’d somehow gotten involved in and couldn’t imagine walking away from now.

He remembered the first survey on The Barter System website. The questions were clever and he couldn’t seem to stop himself from answering them.

They made him think and he hadn’t done much thinking about personal shit in a long time.

For several months, he checked the site regularly, participating in an anonymous doctorate student’s dissertation on male sexuality. Gradually, the questions got harder, more emotional.

Sean kept going back.

He stared at the essay he’d written for a woman he now knew was named Riya. He read it again and knew he should change it, make himself look stronger and more confident than he was…but he didn’t.

For the first time in his life, in regards to a woman, he decided to tell the truth. No smoothing things over. No being a man instead of being human. No falling in with the stereotype men like him fit so comfortably.

She’d asked, above all else, for him to be honest.

It was the only thing she wanted. It was damn well going to be what she received.

The Barter System Essay Instructions:

Please write an essay about one intangible thing that would change your life for the better if you were in possession of it. Complete all personal information. All essays are confidential – as is every piece of data shared by participants. Spelling, grammar, and technical writing are unimportant. The end result is what counts. ~Riya

ESSAY

Subject Name: Sean

Subject Age: 37

Subject Career: Internet Entrepreneur

Marital Status: Divorced

Children (Y/N): N

Annual Income: $150K

Location: Orlando, FL

Hi, Riya:

I’m not sure where to start, how to start. You asked me to write an essay on the one thing that would fulfill my life. I wish I could.

From the outside, I don’t lack for anything.

I’m not “rich” by society standards but I have what I need, more than most. I didn’t have a shitty childhood, I’m ex-military, white, straight, and male.

You can’t get much more “golden boy” these days than that. I have nothing to complain about any day of the week. I’m not persecuted or considered unequal to another race or gender. I’ve never been the victim of discrimination, profiling, or sexual assault.

I should be happy. I should sit back, shut the fuck up, and count my blessings. Most days, I do just that. I know how lucky my circumstances make me.

So when I think about how miserable I am, I feel ashamed. I don’t think I have a right to complain. I don’t have any business bitching about not having a cherry on my mega-sundae.

Over the last two years, I’ve buried myself in my business. I’ve eaten when I was hungry and gotten laid when I was horny. My business has grown. I haven’t grown as a human being since I was fifteen.

I’m pushing forty and I wonder if I’ll still be missing this nameless thing when I’m fifty or sixty years old.

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